Coming Soon - Average Joe: D.C.

I haven’t made a New Year’s resolution in probably five years, ever since the best one I’ve ever made: I resolved to be more superficial. I think most people assumed I was joking when I said it, but not entirely. It’s so easy to become righteously indignant about so much of modern American society, but you know what? It’s also very tiring. In its most noble interpretation my resolution meant I intended to save my indignation for topics that truly deserved it. But it really meant I was giving myself permission to watch reality TV.

I reaffirmed that resolution Monday night when I found myself unable to look away from Average Joe: Hawaii on NBC. It was touch and go for a while (and who knows, I could still escalate to Indignant Level Orange) but I finally decided not to get all bent out of shape about a show that is forcing a beauty queen to spend several weeks in a Hawaiian mansion keeping a smile glued to her face while surrounded by men who up to this point would have been invisible to her. I’m not going to bother finding all their names, but the group includes The Fat Guy, The Fatter Guy, The Even Fatter Guy and The Really Fat Guy, as well as The Guy Who Makes Carrot Top Look Like Cary Grant and The Guy with No Sweat Glands. (After watching the show for 20 minutes I realized I’d rather talk to any of them - even The Dull Guy with the Cold Sore - than the beauty queen.)

I’m once again ready to embrace my superficiality. I have set my Tivo-like device to record the entire series. It should put me in the right frame of mind for some of the other upcoming absurd reality show elimination contests, like Fear Factor, The Apprentice, and The 2004 Election.

Comments

[Phil]

Average Joe Lieberman-o-War of the Roses are Redd Foxx News Channel Surfing USA Today is the first day of the rest of your Life cereal killer App-alachien Andalou-cy Ricardo Montalban’s prep school prom date of birth-day suits me to a TiVo.

Er, what I meant to say was: is the beauty queen really that boring?

[Adda]

The day they make a reality show out of an "elimination contest" is the day I buy a Tivo.

[pbbbbb]

A reality show about modern corporate life would look like one of those scenes where the good guys patch into the security system to replace the live video with a freeze frame of nothing happening while they rob the vault|ride the elevator to the top floor|photograph the secret plans. Only in Cubeville, you don't have to replace the live shot with a still picture to show the lack of activity.

Do I really want a job? Sometimes it's hard to tell...

[rebecca]

I think they should make a reality show about when Dave logs on to IM. Oh wait...that doesn't happen anymore!

[myküll]

i think they should make a reality show about rebecky's multi-tech life. see rebecky im! see rebecky e-mail! see rebecky talk on her cell! all at the same time! all with the same person! fascinating!

[rebecca]

Don't forget blog. We are communicating via blog right now. And I'm calling you on my cell phone.

[pbbbbb]

I could use the web browser in my phone to check the blog, but I'm too cheap.

[Adda]

I could IM your phone, and you could use it to blog my IM.

[pbbbbb]

Isn't that how Mad Cow got started?

[pinky]

I have nothing whatsoever to contribute to this conversation. I just wanted to say hi. So - hi.

[Adda]

Oh HI!
Have you noticed that Dbt has started using his comments section to talk to his friends instead of IM?

[Phil]

Hey gang -- I've found this great new chatroom called "Plooble." I think it's unmoderated, but there are lots of posts from some guy named DBT. He's really funny. Have you seen his stuff? He ought to start a blog!

;)

[Andy]

Just wanted to congratulate the whole damn Suck It crüe for dominating me at trivia last night. You guys sure do know your transsexual tennis pros!

[Rebecca]

Actually Adda I think it's just a forum for Dave's friends to talk to each other. So, how's Taavi?

[dbt]

All right. Everybody out of the pool.